Friday, October 30, 2009

Whatever you can do, or dream. You Can Begin it.

I'm on my way to my new life. Free of that person and lifestyle that relinquishes the part of me that makes me sad, and that hinders my ability to overcome and succeed at 1. Kicking cancers butt 2. Being the best mom I can be and 3. Following thru with my previously posted bucket list that keeps growing. The loss is terrific... But I will be in a much better place. I know it. My friends and family know it. (you guys might just have to kick my butt and remind me...probably a lot at first.OK?) I'll just keep playing Helen Reddy.
Ironically enough in the midst of my pity party yesterday my mom mantra song came blaring over the radio, and put me back in my place.. You Don't Always get What You Want, You Get What You Need. Great timing. The Universe was listening and giving me a hand. I sure appreciated that.
So my bald head got me 2 anecdotes to write about. Bonus one...a discount at Starbucks. Nice.
UnBonus one...The guy at JC Penneys that eyed me while he was in line. He got out of line caught up with me and gave me a 10 minute dissertation of his cancer and how wonderful his cancer center is and how I really should go there....Yada Yada. Holy Cow! I guess one crosses out the other :)
We're gettin ready for Halloween Jake wants to be a 16 yr old with a theater unhappy face. Madi is dressin up as a nerd. As always I am sure they will have a great time with their friends. They sure are great kids. I sure do love them a lot. Just don't think I still don't consider trading them in for a new set of sheets at Target though. I made the picture on top and put one on each kid's pillow. They loved it.
P.S. My hearts still beating...Nice and Strong

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Believe in yourself. Other people do.

I'm believing every moment of everyday...FYI
Well here I am. Still hangin around. I finished round 4 of my cycles last week. This weekend has been tiring, but totally do-able. The neuropathy in hands and feet is a pain in the butt. I hope after each one that the neuropathy gets better. So far so good. But man, I know what the dr means about wanting me to be able to button my shirts when all is said and done. Just trying to open a paper clamp yest was a bit of an ordeal. No wussy butts here. I'll just sqeeze harder :)
I'm watching the forecast right now, lookin like snow in Flag for tonight. Sure do wish I was there. Plus it's freezing there. I might have to go check it out tomorrow instead of watching season 3 Dexter with Cea. I'm thinkin she's not gonna mind. She bought me Starbucks and lemon cake yesterday..Yummy. Our family is enjoying a nice popcorn basket sent by Sabra and Lou. Too cute and lots of goodies. Thanks guys
The kids had fun with homecoming at their school last week. Madi went to the dance with Matt, and looked beautiful. Jake went to fear farm and had the time of his life meeting the ugly scary clowns. Whatever floats your boat I guess. I'd have rather been hiking to Havasupai. Soon...Very soon.
I've been eating plenty of candy corn and pumpkins too. They are so so good.
Thanks to all my friends and Patti for everything you have done for me this past week of "it's all relative". I know I have to start buying shirts with extra extra large shoulder space. I'm thanking my lucky stars even that even though I am having throbbing pain in each vertabrae in my spine, I know my heart is still working; and for that I'm thankful.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Problems are always short term

Wow....Chemo is kick ass this time. Doin' my best to stay one step ahead. Another one of my friends was diagnosed with lung cancer this weekend. Perfectly healthy mother of 4 little ones. WTF. There's definitely no fairness in this. We'll just have to kick ass together!! Now I'm goin' back to bed and not feel my hands and feet.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Cancer-Zero...My Wife- Won

So today we did the Race for the Cure. Geez. There were a ton of people. What a neat experience. There were a lot of people there with the same hairstyle as mine. We must all go to the same stylist. "Mannequins are us." I was actually the only one I saw braving the doo without. I did wear my my hat when the sun started beating down on us. But then we found the sunscreen and I got to be a free woman again.
Got to do the walk with Madi's Girl Scout troop 1806. Madi is in Mexico building houses, I missed her walking with us. We did see Pam and Robin there. Robin is a survivor. She did a great job at kicking cancer's butt too.
I did have to make a slight alteration to my shirt to make it so it wasn't past tense. Since I am currently kicking cancer's butt with a stick. ( like that Emily & Julie ?)
And, I made Butthead's shirt. He actually wore the pink shirt. Cancer -Zero...My Wife-Won
I know that's kinda past tense; but only cuz as we all know....The cancer is gone, this chemo crap is just a formality. Besides, the Dr needs the rest of his money :)
After the walk I got to go to my grandma's and eat oatmeal with her while Randy and Marcus fixed her water leak. And right now, I am waiting for Nancy Williams to show up so we can go to Prescott for the night. We'll be back in time for the Dr's visit to see if I can have chemo this week.
Yest was a great day. Got to go to Carrie's baby shower for her twin boys that are due very soon. Then I went to see Whip it with Julie and Emily. That is one funny movie.
OK off to Prescott for the cool breeze and jacket, (gloves, hat, sweats,wool socks) and all that other wussy butt stuff I need to stay warm :)

Thursday, October 8, 2009

This just in! Climbing trees in Flagstaff cures cancer!

So when I didnt have to have chemo this week, Cea and I decided to take full advantage of a cleared day. Sooo... we drove to Flagstaff. HOLY COW it was 30 degrees colder there. We stopped at Montezuma's Well and hiked around a bit. These hikes sure arent like the old days. How sad that I get tired hiking 100 yards up to the entrance of the well. I guess thats what poison racing thru your veins does to ya :( But I really really like the fact that it is kicking the crap out of the cancer so that in 6 months I get to go on a real live hike. :) Montezuma's Well was pretty darn neat. Kinda sad I didnt get to see any leaches in the water. But we did get the crap scared out of us by some little furry rodent or whatever that crosed our path.
We drove to Snow Bowl next to see some color changes in the trees. Very pretty colors starting. We decided to stop and play on the dead tree on the side of the road. It was fun till someone got hurt. Not really, but Cea did scratch her prescription sunglasses. I the heck does that happen??? But it did. I did get some nice pics of the colors, hope to return on my next break, and see even more color. There was snow on the mountain and dusting on the trees. So so pretty. Loved the burger at Bun Huggers.
Then turned in my coin jar to buy a Life is Good t-shirt in granola town. It says The journey is the destination. Under hiking boots that look just like mine. Couldnt have found a more perfect saying.
I did get to play catch with Madi too. So far, my arm isnt trying to figure out WTF happened. I'm sure by bedtime tonight it will. But who cares. I havent played ball in 6 months. Heck, it was just like old times. I'm thinkin' if I put that wig on, I could easily pass as a 14 yr old, and play on their team.
PERFECT DAY....except I froze my butt off.
P.S. A great big thank you to the anonymous donor of the Walmart gift card to Margaret Downs that arrived in the mail.....Very sneaky, my family appreciates it greatly. Thank You..

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Bring a dream to life...Believe!

I love
photoshop!! This so made me think of my split apart Chewy so much, that I had to make it all about him. Short of the pic this is exactly my little Chewmonster :) I love him so much. And he loves his momma. NEVER leaves my side.
So now we are good. Dr Volk talked with me yesterday and un-dilemma-nized me. The current plan now will unfortunately take me way into December for chemo, but will still give me the chance to keep up with the full dosing of the chemo. I'm back to December 16th for the last day. So now Patrick WILL get to be my chemo partner. Although he and I made better plans to go to the Grand Canyon to get pics of snow that day. Never been there in the winter. Well maybe I'll gather the energy to get there before he has to head back to North Carolina and do Marine junk.

I love having all these good days. It is really wonderful. Especially with this beautiful weather. Think I'm gonna get to go to Flag tomorrow and take pics of fall with Cea. Randy and I have got to have some extra time together yesterday and today. That's kinda nice too.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Thank You Madisen!!!

Its these little gifts that make your day!!!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

With a positive attitude, you're guaranteed success !

That's exactly what I have to keep doing. It's not like it's hard to do. But is Oh so easy to slip to the dark side. The dr wants to change chemo around since the peripheral neuropathy is now becoming an issue. He wants to make sure I get to keep walking and also be able to button my shirt. Dang this chemo is poison. I was informed he really didnt expect me to be able to finish all 6 treatments. Our plan now is to go out 28 days and see how much of the neuropathy resolves. He wants to lowe the dose of Taxol, and possibly even stop the course we are doing now and just switch drugs totally. No more intraperitoneal. This is killer news to me . I just wanted it to be regular ole regular 6 seeions, I'm good to go, go back to work and playing softball, and start my bucket list. so little plan change. Good thing I have my verizon army to help keep me on track. Thanks guys.
Well Randy was officially layed off work Fri. Let's just hope this is what needed to get into the solar energy field he has wanted so badly. I got 3 gifts myself this week. 1.I got to spend Friday with my east best friend, Julie and eat chocolate sauce and fruit. 2. I got told by Julie I was the most beautiful cancer patient she had ever seen! I really liked that one. 3. While at Pullano's Pizza Sat with the softball team, a girl fron Xavier's softball team came up to me and asked if she could give me a hug. Oh man it was it a sincere loving hug. She then informed me her mom just died from cancer and she wanted to wish me the best in getting better. Her dad was standing there and said yeah, she just died 6 months ago. We all started bawling. I told her thank you for my gift. I just had to tell Madi that isnt going to happen to me. What a neat neat gift. I will never ever forget that moment in my whole life. It was like she was hugging her mom again. Oh, really 4 gifts. 4. My neighbor Sharon came over last night with her grocery list pad and said, Lee and I are shopping for your family tomorrow. Oh, and 5. I got my I-touch replaced by Apple. No questions asked about the nice soaking it had in bubbles. How incredible can it get ???

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles... It empties today of its strength.

So sorry I haven't blogged. I have been having such good days, my buns haven't EVEN been at home. This has been my good week with no chemo, and as you can see I have made myself busy every moment this week. I did yard work, went to Tucson for Madi's softball tournament, went to the mall drank lemonade, spilled lemonade all over the inside of my purse(dont ask), and this is my lame attempt to be a 14 year old and snap a picture of Kelly and I illegally standing next to the windmill at Goofy Golf.The Goofy Golf police totally missed us. That makes twice in my life I have evaded the cops, with Barti, and now with Kelly.(another, best if you dont ask) We had a fantastic time, and I am sure there was an alien abduction of my red ball on the 6th hole. t dissapeared into thin air. And I didnt even hit it like a softball.
Which meant I had to go get a new one. A GREEN one. And yes, I did use sunscreen on that other round object above the green round object. The best part of this day was pretzels for lunch. Yummy. Another Yahoo for this week...Food and drink starts to take on some normal flavor. Crab Alfredo and Miracle Mile with Kathy and Rene. Great lunches.
I have learned from experience this week with 2 friends this week that cancer isnt over when its over. At any time including 2 and 5 yrs out...cancer can pop up its crankly little head and mess with your perfectly fine life. Hence the title today of my blog. It's just kinda sad that something like this really happens. So spend 6 months fixing and kicking cancers butt, then try not to worry everyday for the rest of your life that every little ache and pain isnt a tumor poppin in for a visit. Bite Me. I say.
Went wig shopping this week too. Even though I was dead set against it. I know cooler months are a comin, and I will need a warm head. It's too cute. I definitely look like Bambi in this thing. Especially after the MAC lady re did the makeup style. Randy really liked the new me.
someday soon I will try and get the new look up and runnin on the blog.
So come to the carwash this weekend and support AZ Legacy. 59th and Union Hills...Sat. We'll all be there with sponges and Windex to make your cars all pretty.