Merry Christmas Everyone

I have to admit this has been one great xmas season. A lot to appreciate. And, I had a great time seeing and talking to all my family and friends. Wed we all got to go see Grandma. My best present ... Her German potato salad...Yummy. It was great to see her. We attended a great Christmas Eve service at McDowell Mountain Community Church. Then off to dinner at my sister's house. Santa came and brought us all kinds of goodies at our house. Christmas night we moved on to Sabra and Lou's house where we had a fantastic prime rib dinner with Julie, Emily, Ethan, Kevin, and Madi. Jake had to work sadly. We had fun playing Apples to Apples and waking up and watching proposal. Poor Julie took off to the ER to treat whatever was making her throat swell to the size of Georgia. All's well now. Home on antibiotics and good drugs.
Madi, Emily, Ethan and I watched Avatar in 3-D. It was a great movie. We all loved it. Dont think I'll probably do the 3-D thing again. It was OK, but not fantastic.
As we speak I am downloading all my camera cards, and cleaning my lenses for one of my most exciting trips yet. We're finally going to the Grand Canyon to take pictures while there is snow everywhere. Patrick is in town still. We had to cancel earlier this week since the universe decided to make it extra good and give us lots of snow for our pictures. The high is 30, and the low is 7. I truly think I am going to freeze my butt off. But, I am taking plenty of warm clothes, and a heater, and gloves... Can't wait. I hope the black ice stays minimal. So I'm gonna go get Jake from work right now, and get to bed. :)

Like mother like daughter...studmuffins

So I sit here with every muscle fiber below my butt screaming at me and calling me an idiot for actually playing catcher Wed nite in the parents versus daughters game for Madi's softball team. (parents won!!) I donned the gear and played for an inning. Thank God that's all I played. What a blast. And how fortunate that 2 weeks after my last chemo, I am able to get out there and actually field a ball, much less play catcher for fastpitch softball. I pretty much sucked at the hitting though. My body felt like it was 97and a half. My poor arm muscles have dwindled to the size they were when I was an infant; I believe. That's OK, I'll get them back to speed here pretty soon. Oh....ask how fun it was to catch a ball with neuropathy in my hands. I think it'll be a bit before I try and play catch. Enough complaining I had a great time getting to play ball again.
I get to do xmas baking this Mon with the Shirk family. Cant wait........Then comes Tuesday, and I get to take pictures of the Grand Canyon. I really really hope that the snow hasn't melted. That would be an ultimate bummer.
My labs came back today and the marker we were so happily celebrating at 17 last month went to 23. Kinda scary, but let's just pray that it's a fluke, and not a trend. The dr pretty much said chemo gets to start again if it hits 25. Maybe I need to play more softball, and start riding my bike more. Scare it back to 17...better yet, 7.
Well I'm off to party with Madi's ball team tonight. Parents are having a white elephant exchange, and girls are doing a slipper exchange. How cute. Then we get to gamble off a whole 3 dollars in left right center. Hope I'm as lucky this Fri, as I was last Fri at Bunco :)

Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times!!

So I finally got my computer up and running at home. Geez, I thought it would never get up right. But my cousin Chucky did the geek squad thing and took off the virus, and then my computer was down to nothing. So sorry the blogging hasn't been as it should. I'll try and do better now.
Still love the house. It's big and wonderful. I've met all my neighbors and they are all really nice people. How cool is that. I did buy a beebee gun to scare away pidgeons. That will be fun.
Well I have to say, my last chemo was a butt kicker. On top of that I caught a cold. I was down for the count for about 3 days. But I'm good now. Just have a grand case of peripheral neuropathy. My hands, feet, and face all hate me about now. Here's to hoping Neurontin does what its supposed to!!
This cold weather is Hell on neuropathy.Those little hand warmers they sell at Walmart are my new best friends. They work fabulously. I think I should buy stock in them. Not before the divorce is final though. No sense in giving up a good thing if I don't have to :)
Anddddd......That quarter inch of peach fuzz I now have on my head, is NOT blond!!!! Its freakin silver!! I have silver hair or gray ..Whatever you want to call it. I've been told that my old color will come in after about a year. I guess time will tell. In the mean time, I guess the Annie Lennox doo will have to have a slightly different look. It'll just have to be the Peg Downs doo :) Madi cut off all her long blond beautiful hair. Its a cute doo. Just hasn't been this short since she was still trying to grow it when she was 2 years old.
I became an official Arizonian today. Cea taught me how to make tamales. So I made a couple dozen of them at best. I'm certain they were a far cry from the south of the border standard. But what the heck. Hopefully no one will look too closely.
Patrick is comin to town this week, and with that...I get to start my bucket list. I have NEVER been to the Grand Canyon when it has snow. Our plan is to go and take probably several hundred pictures of all of it. I cant wait. Did I tell you I cant wait. Just dont look forward to my hands getting cold trying to operate the camera. It will be nice to spend time with Patrick too.
One last good story of sorts before I crash tonight that you all might like to know. Last night I slept with a new boy. Yep cute,blonde, young, playful, smart. One bad habit though... had to put my shoes up so he wouldn't chew them to pieces. I must say, Beau was a great sleeping companion at Julie's house last night. Gotcha all huh? Yeah whatever....but I think I might still share the first part of that with a boy I am still related to. Make him jealous that I found a cute young blonde boy( lab) to sleep with :) He doesn't have to know the whole story.
I love you all and all your support. Thanks Aunt Diane for staying here and helping me past my zombie stage. It has made this all so much easier. I have blood work again this week, so pray that "I'm 17 again". Hey, we should make a movie with that title.

There is no heavier burden than a big potential.

Well finally I have the ability to get on and blog. Getting chemo as I write. By the way, need I to mention that today is the LAST one. Kinda cool. Im kinda sorta happy about that.

Sorry to say that right before the move the computer crashed with very bad virus. So I've been unable to blog . But here are some of the hightlights.. My tumor markers have all decided to scoot down into the normal range. My CA-125 has moved to 17. Started out at around 250. So I'm keeping all my prayers going, not walking under any ladders, and keeping my fingers crossed that it stays there. The plan will be to have labs and scans to make sure everything stays down. Work will ne sometime in Jan. Yeah.

GOT HAIR lots of cute fuzziness on that perfectly round bald head. It's kinda neat. I can rub it and relax when I get upset at certain people I'm still realted to for approx 90 more days. Plus eyebrows are coming in all haphazzardly. Cea will have a hayday with that. I'm taking 5 pain pills before that torture session.

As you can see, I decided to start my getting back in shape. I rode my bike today about 4 miles. My legs going down the stairs felt like they were about 97 and a half years old. Day at a time. Once my blood counts get back in the normal range that should get easier. But I was finally riding again.

Last but not least today, I can finally go back to work in Jan. And my aim should begin improving while I'm throwing stuff at folks (Dr Patel is first on the list). My biggest goal inrelation to this would be to not hit people that were not meant to be on the receiving end, and have them not beat me up.
My new house is fabulous beautiful, sunny, and has now become a home. All the boxes are empty and put away. And BONUS we have up all the Christmas decorations and lights up. They look so pretty. We just have uninvited guests in the attic. PIDGEONS. Yuck. they make noise all nite, and coo, and poo all over the front porch.Hoping to get that resolved shortly.
Thanks to all for all your love and prayers, and support.
Thanksgiving was probably best yet. All my family was there. Food good, and the kids had a blast playing cornhole. NIce Nice Nice.
I'm very excited for Sunday. Starting with our hospice dinner Sunday around 1pm. Then Cea and I will take off to Trans Siberian Orchestra concert at 8pm. Hopin I can stay awake, and keep it a good day with chemo crap.

Life is filled with unexpected blessings

Well, I found a house to rent. Couldn't ask for much better. Nice house. Across the street from the school. Across the street from the rec center. Across the street from the school. Walking distance to the bus stop for Jake to get to work at the mall. Oh...and did I mention it's right across the street from the school. KIDS CAN WALK TO SCHOOL. YEAH...YEAH... That's nearly as exciting as; I ONLY HAVE 1 MORE CHEMO LEFT. Dec 2nd. the last one. Very last one. Only one more weekend of nausea, weight loss, and rotten watermelon taste in my mouth. ONly one more weekend of feeling like someone just beat the crap out of me; after I had finished the iron man triathlon, that I have no recollection of participating in. Annnddd.... only one more weekend of stool softeners and dried fruit.
The bonus of all this as that weekend is that we will be having our hospice xmas gathering, and I get to go to Trans Siberian Orchestra 4th row with Cea. Quite nice deals after chemo #6.
Yesterday we started the packing and moving process. What an ordeal. Who'd a thunk 16 years in one house would have had us moving 756 billion boxes of junk. We really really need to have a garage sale once we get moved. We had quite the moving crew. Tracy, Meagan,Diane,Courtney, Savanah, Angel, Kelly, and Jake. I did get another bald bonus at Hungry Howies last night. When I showed up to pick up the pizza, he looked at me and then started doing button pushing on the register, saying, let me see what other discount I can get ya. 6 dollars off. I guess that will be the only part of all this I will miss :)
Story of the day yest...At Madi's softball tournament(which she hit a home run clear over their head), I had to run to the bathroom to throw up. When I was done I thought I would just go pee too. But before I could do that I had to throw up some more. Then I went on my merry way to Madi's game. After her game she asked for lunch, as I stood up to go, my pants fell down. I just thought man, I really lost some weight since throwing up...Nah, just failed to zip and button them after the first bathroom trip. So I got to drop my drawers at the ball field Whoo Hoo

Guess what you are getting for xmas???

Well...sadly enough Cea and I only have 1 more disc of Dexter season 3. Monday we finally got caught up. Man, is that a great show. Never been much of a TV fan. But I'll sacrifice "perfectly healthy should be outside hiking time" for good ole Dexter.
It's 1am and these steroids are making sure I don't get an ounce of sleep for the next few days. Lets' just hope the new chemo drug gives me somewhat of a reprieve from the previous 4 cycles of hell.
I spent the day today with Cea, teaching her how to can jam...Strawberry, raspberry, peach, raspberry-peach, and triple berry. Her poor stove and microwave and my bald head looked like a Dexter crime scene. red raspberry splatter everywhere. That jam starts boiling and poppin everywhere, including Cea's eyeball too. The jam looks fabulous. (in the jars, not the floor).
OK...its off to bed to pretend to fall asleep. I'm going to get up in the am and hike Thunderbird Mtn before I have chemo at 11. Just 2 more cycles left of kicking cancers butt.
Good night

My eylashes and eyebrows have finally left

I just want it known that we didn't stop hiking because any one of us was tired. We had to get back in time for a meeting. And.. I got to take some great shots of the McDowell Mountains.
Wednesday and Thursday were such bonus days...No chemo due to major changes. So since Wed Cea was supposed to be my chemo partner, I had breakfast with her, Kelly and Scotty. Yuuummy. We then caught up on more Dexter. Perfect!
Thursday, Julie was supposed to be my Chemo partner. So we went on a hike instead with Barrie in the McDowell Mountains. Barrie kept finding hearts in the rocks. We all tried and tried to find Colette from Illinois whos copy of her passport we found. Couldn't find her. Met Twyla though! Had fun taking a few pics, and, I didn't fall. Julie...looked good in her Hope shirt and found the prickly pear with a gage hole. She didn't fall. Well neither did Barrie. None of us fell. Sadly enough, there really isn't any color changes in the desert hikes like there are in Flag. Guess that means I better go to Flag next week :)
Monday the dr decided the fact that my face, hands and feet felt as though it had been numbed by the dentist, as well as hurt, was not a good thing. Not being able to hold a pen last weekend wasn't a good thing either. Sooooo...chemo has to change. I think it's OK though. I will now get carboplatin instead of cisplatin. This is better for less neuropathy. So no more belly chemo. Just Taxol and Carboplatin every 21 days IV. I think I can handle that. Only 2 more chemo cycles. I'm a happy camper.

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord.

Madi reminded me of this today, and I am trying to be sucessful at this. Stupid things keep trying to bring me down. Like hitting my poor Pilot and taking off. Buttheads.
I have to remember that there is always somebody's life that is having a worse story than I. It's here I just remember I have 2 of the most fabulous beautiful children in the world that they love each other tremendously. Plus I'm thinkin they really really love their momma too. I also have the best friends and family anyone could ever ever ask for. That's all we need...LOVE. Everything else is just stuff and we will get through all this, and have these stories as a guide for the rest of our lives. Madi and I had a nice conversation that God doesn't give us more than he feels we can handle. We are very strong. We will be just fine. I told them I cant' wait for the day to come when we get to help fix someone elses dilemma. I will be very good at it.
After watching Madi's ball game this morning(nice double there woman!), we met up with Julie's family and Barrie's family for church. After which we went to a nice lunch to Rock Bottom for some great mac and cheese. Mike thank you for the lunch. Madi had a great time connecting with Jake(Barrie&Mike's Jake). Emily and my Jake continue to look like twins, and Ethan and Bryce wrote a really neat song. Caroline was great at being a cute little kid with extra celery sticks. The Petty family provided our family with a nice Rubbermaid basket filled with stuff our family will be needing. Thank You so so much Petty family. You're the best. Our visit wasnt long enough before my Jake had to get to work. Darn.
Tonight we celebrated my nephews 12th birthday. Spagetti dinner. Yummy.
2 days of no pain meds. i like that. Really dont like the fingers feet and face feeling all funky. But I see the dr tomorrow to discuss changes that are going to need to occur so I can feel those body parts later on when I am teaching my grandaughter how to throw down.
Mmmmmm nothing better than nice clean sheets at bedtime. My fav.

Whatever you can do, or dream. You Can Begin it.

I'm on my way to my new life. Free of that person and lifestyle that relinquishes the part of me that makes me sad, and that hinders my ability to overcome and succeed at 1. Kicking cancers butt 2. Being the best mom I can be and 3. Following thru with my previously posted bucket list that keeps growing. The loss is terrific... But I will be in a much better place. I know it. My friends and family know it. (you guys might just have to kick my butt and remind me...probably a lot at first.OK?) I'll just keep playing Helen Reddy.
Ironically enough in the midst of my pity party yesterday my mom mantra song came blaring over the radio, and put me back in my place.. You Don't Always get What You Want, You Get What You Need. Great timing. The Universe was listening and giving me a hand. I sure appreciated that.
So my bald head got me 2 anecdotes to write about. Bonus one...a discount at Starbucks. Nice.
UnBonus one...The guy at JC Penneys that eyed me while he was in line. He got out of line caught up with me and gave me a 10 minute dissertation of his cancer and how wonderful his cancer center is and how I really should go there....Yada Yada. Holy Cow! I guess one crosses out the other :)
We're gettin ready for Halloween Jake wants to be a 16 yr old with a theater unhappy face. Madi is dressin up as a nerd. As always I am sure they will have a great time with their friends. They sure are great kids. I sure do love them a lot. Just don't think I still don't consider trading them in for a new set of sheets at Target though. I made the picture on top and put one on each kid's pillow. They loved it.
P.S. My hearts still beating...Nice and Strong

Believe in yourself. Other people do.

I'm believing every moment of everyday...FYI
Well here I am. Still hangin around. I finished round 4 of my cycles last week. This weekend has been tiring, but totally do-able. The neuropathy in hands and feet is a pain in the butt. I hope after each one that the neuropathy gets better. So far so good. But man, I know what the dr means about wanting me to be able to button my shirts when all is said and done. Just trying to open a paper clamp yest was a bit of an ordeal. No wussy butts here. I'll just sqeeze harder :)
I'm watching the forecast right now, lookin like snow in Flag for tonight. Sure do wish I was there. Plus it's freezing there. I might have to go check it out tomorrow instead of watching season 3 Dexter with Cea. I'm thinkin she's not gonna mind. She bought me Starbucks and lemon cake yesterday..Yummy. Our family is enjoying a nice popcorn basket sent by Sabra and Lou. Too cute and lots of goodies. Thanks guys
The kids had fun with homecoming at their school last week. Madi went to the dance with Matt, and looked beautiful. Jake went to fear farm and had the time of his life meeting the ugly scary clowns. Whatever floats your boat I guess. I'd have rather been hiking to Havasupai. Soon...Very soon.
I've been eating plenty of candy corn and pumpkins too. They are so so good.
Thanks to all my friends and Patti for everything you have done for me this past week of "it's all relative". I know I have to start buying shirts with extra extra large shoulder space. I'm thanking my lucky stars even that even though I am having throbbing pain in each vertabrae in my spine, I know my heart is still working; and for that I'm thankful.

Problems are always short term

Wow....Chemo is kick ass this time. Doin' my best to stay one step ahead. Another one of my friends was diagnosed with lung cancer this weekend. Perfectly healthy mother of 4 little ones. WTF. There's definitely no fairness in this. We'll just have to kick ass together!! Now I'm goin' back to bed and not feel my hands and feet.

Cancer-Zero...My Wife- Won

So today we did the Race for the Cure. Geez. There were a ton of people. What a neat experience. There were a lot of people there with the same hairstyle as mine. We must all go to the same stylist. "Mannequins are us." I was actually the only one I saw braving the doo without. I did wear my my hat when the sun started beating down on us. But then we found the sunscreen and I got to be a free woman again.
Got to do the walk with Madi's Girl Scout troop 1806. Madi is in Mexico building houses, I missed her walking with us. We did see Pam and Robin there. Robin is a survivor. She did a great job at kicking cancer's butt too.
I did have to make a slight alteration to my shirt to make it so it wasn't past tense. Since I am currently kicking cancer's butt with a stick. ( like that Emily & Julie ?)
And, I made Butthead's shirt. He actually wore the pink shirt. Cancer -Zero...My Wife-Won
I know that's kinda past tense; but only cuz as we all know....The cancer is gone, this chemo crap is just a formality. Besides, the Dr needs the rest of his money :)
After the walk I got to go to my grandma's and eat oatmeal with her while Randy and Marcus fixed her water leak. And right now, I am waiting for Nancy Williams to show up so we can go to Prescott for the night. We'll be back in time for the Dr's visit to see if I can have chemo this week.
Yest was a great day. Got to go to Carrie's baby shower for her twin boys that are due very soon. Then I went to see Whip it with Julie and Emily. That is one funny movie.
OK off to Prescott for the cool breeze and jacket, (gloves, hat, sweats,wool socks) and all that other wussy butt stuff I need to stay warm :)

This just in! Climbing trees in Flagstaff cures cancer!

So when I didnt have to have chemo this week, Cea and I decided to take full advantage of a cleared day. Sooo... we drove to Flagstaff. HOLY COW it was 30 degrees colder there. We stopped at Montezuma's Well and hiked around a bit. These hikes sure arent like the old days. How sad that I get tired hiking 100 yards up to the entrance of the well. I guess thats what poison racing thru your veins does to ya :( But I really really like the fact that it is kicking the crap out of the cancer so that in 6 months I get to go on a real live hike. :) Montezuma's Well was pretty darn neat. Kinda sad I didnt get to see any leaches in the water. But we did get the crap scared out of us by some little furry rodent or whatever that crosed our path.
We drove to Snow Bowl next to see some color changes in the trees. Very pretty colors starting. We decided to stop and play on the dead tree on the side of the road. It was fun till someone got hurt. Not really, but Cea did scratch her prescription sunglasses. I know...how the heck does that happen??? But it did. I did get some nice pics of the colors, hope to return on my next break, and see even more color. There was snow on the mountain and dusting on the trees. So so pretty. Loved the burger at Bun Huggers.
Then turned in my coin jar to buy a Life is Good t-shirt in granola town. It says The journey is the destination. Under hiking boots that look just like mine. Couldnt have found a more perfect saying.
I did get to play catch with Madi too. So far, my arm isnt trying to figure out WTF happened. I'm sure by bedtime tonight it will. But who cares. I havent played ball in 6 months. Heck, it was just like old times. I'm thinkin' if I put that wig on, I could easily pass as a 14 yr old, and play on their team.
PERFECT DAY....except I froze my butt off.
P.S. A great big thank you to the anonymous donor of the Walmart gift card to Margaret Downs that arrived in the mail.....Very sneaky, my family appreciates it greatly. Thank You..

Bring a dream to life...Believe!

I love

photoshop!! This so made me think of my split apart Chewy so much, that I had to make it all about him. Short of the pic this is exactly my little Chewmonster :) I love him so much. And he loves his momma. NEVER leaves my side.

So now we are good. Dr Volk talked with me yesterday and un-dilemma-nized me. The current plan now will unfortunately take me way into December for chemo, but will still give me the chance to keep up with the full dosing of the chemo. I'm back to December 16th for the last day. So now Patrick WILL get to be my chemo partner. Although he and I made better plans to go to the Grand Canyon to get pics of snow that day. Never been there in the winter. Well maybe I'll gather the energy to get there before he has to head back to North Carolina and do Marine junk.

I love having all these good days. It is really wonderful. Especially with this beautiful weather. Think I'm gonna get to go to Flag tomorrow and take pics of fall with Cea. Randy and I have got to have some extra time together yesterday and today. That's kinda nice too.

Thank You Madisen!!!

Its these little gifts that make your day!!!

With a positive attitude, you're guaranteed success !

That's exactly what I have to keep doing. It's not like it's hard to do. But is Oh so easy to slip to the dark side. The dr wants to change chemo around since the peripheral neuropathy is now becoming an issue. He wants to make sure I get to keep walking and also be able to button my shirt. Dang this chemo is poison. I was informed he really didnt expect me to be able to finish all 6 treatments. Our plan now is to go out 28 days and see how much of the neuropathy resolves. He wants to lowe the dose of Taxol, and possibly even stop the course we are doing now and just switch drugs totally. No more intraperitoneal. This is killer news to me . I just wanted it to be regular ole regular 6 seeions, I'm good to go, go back to work and playing softball, and start my bucket list. so little plan change. Good thing I have my verizon army to help keep me on track. Thanks guys.
Well Randy was officially layed off work Fri. Let's just hope this is what needed to get into the solar energy field he has wanted so badly. I got 3 gifts myself this week. 1.I got to spend Friday with my east best friend, Julie and eat chocolate sauce and fruit. 2. I got told by Julie I was the most beautiful cancer patient she had ever seen! I really liked that one. 3. While at Pullano's Pizza Sat with the softball team, a girl fron Xavier's softball team came up to me and asked if she could give me a hug. Oh man it was it a sincere loving hug. She then informed me her mom just died from cancer and she wanted to wish me the best in getting better. Her dad was standing there and said yeah, she just died 6 months ago. We all started bawling. I told her thank you for my gift. I just had to tell Madi that isnt going to happen to me. What a neat neat gift. I will never ever forget that moment in my whole life. It was like she was hugging her mom again. Oh, really 4 gifts. 4. My neighbor Sharon came over last night with her grocery list pad and said, Lee and I are shopping for your family tomorrow. Oh, and 5. I got my I-touch replaced by Apple. No questions asked about the nice soaking it had in bubbles. How incredible can it get ???

Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles... It empties today of its strength.

So sorry I haven't blogged. I have been having such good days, my buns haven't EVEN been at home. This has been my good week with no chemo, and as you can see I have made myself busy every moment this week. I did yard work, went to Tucson for Madi's softball tournament, went to the mall drank lemonade, spilled lemonade all over the inside of my purse(dont ask), and this is my lame attempt to be a 14 year old and snap a picture of Kelly and I illegally standing next to the windmill at Goofy Golf.The Goofy Golf police totally missed us. That makes twice in my life I have evaded the cops, with Barti, and now with Kelly.(another, best if you dont ask) We had a fantastic time, and I am sure there was an alien abduction of my red ball on the 6th hole. t dissapeared into thin air. And I didnt even hit it like a softball.
Which meant I had to go get a new one. A GREEN one. And yes, I did use sunscreen on that other round object above the green round object. The best part of this day was pretzels for lunch. Yummy. Another Yahoo for this week...Food and drink starts to take on some normal flavor. Crab Alfredo and Miracle Mile with Kathy and Rene. Great lunches.
I have learned from experience this week with 2 friends this week that cancer isnt over when its over. At any time including 2 and 5 yrs out...cancer can pop up its crankly little head and mess with your perfectly fine life. Hence the title today of my blog. It's just kinda sad that something like this really happens. So spend 6 months fixing and kicking cancers butt, then try not to worry everyday for the rest of your life that every little ache and pain isnt a tumor poppin in for a visit. Bite Me. I say.
Went wig shopping this week too. Even though I was dead set against it. I know cooler months are a comin, and I will need a warm head. It's too cute. I definitely look like Bambi in this thing. Especially after the MAC lady re did the makeup style. Randy really liked the new me.

someday soon I will try and get the new look up and runnin on the blog.

So come to the carwash this weekend and support AZ Legacy. 59th and Union Hills...Sat. We'll all be there with sponges and Windex to make your cars all pretty.

Peg's still up. No knockin this one down

Well I am finally feeling a bit better this am after Cream of Wheat, compazine, and a pain pill. Breakfast of champions. But what the heck. I finally feel well enough to sit at the computer for a few to update defy gravity, and finally place the order for my Nike ID shoes that I've been saving my Coke points. They are very cool looking. Cant wait to wear them. Come on Nov 25th!!

Bonus, Bonus, Bonus

Today is day 2 of Round 3 on my march toward being DONE with chemo. Here’s the bonus: between my chemo brain and my friend Julie’s bad math skills…I have corrected my “countdown to triumph” clock and it now shows 68 days, 22 hours and 45 minutes- otherwise known as November 25 at 5pm…just in time to rest up for Thanksgiving dinner! Yahooooo!
Looking forward to meatloaf, mashed potatoes and rolls tonight for dinner- thanks to Girl Scout Troop # 1806!
Yesterday was fun with my friend Terri Stepp, aka Burl Ives…is there really anything better than whipping cream in a can?
Tuesday was a great day at Entz Elementary School with Ryland’s 3rd Grade Rutabaga’s. They gave me get well cards and letters and I gave each of them homemade butterfly or football cookies. They named me an Honorary Rutabaga and I have the tee shirt to prove it. On the back of the tee each of them put their thumbprint and painted a face on it. Brittany made sure to point out that she was on my right shoulder blade. They were certain to show me they still had purple thumbs! What a fabulous gift!
I’m great, if I turn my head a certain way I can hear my heart beating; the kids are great, I am so proud of their grades and that they joined neat service groups at school; Randy is great, he’s in Solar Energy School this week!
All is well!

Forget the age requirement for SunCity. This alone works

I CAN'T WAIT FOR ALL MY PILLS TO TASTE LIKE SWEET TARTS :)

THAT WILL BE MY BONUS DAY

Well I had a great weekend. I actually got down on the field to take 400 pictures of Madi's ball tournament. 3 games in the hot sun. I was sure to use sunscreen. First 30, then 50. Equals 80. No sunburn on that pretty round head of mine. Madi's team did well in their tournament. She got to play catcher and was an animal behind the plate. She MUST be related to her mamma!

Today I am making sugar cookies for a special 3rd grade class that have made me some very very special get well cards. Ryland's Rutabagas. They have a whole new batch for my chemo this week. I cant wait. Amy said they are very very neat. Tomorrow I will take them football and flower cookies.

09/09/09 Means.. New Life New Beginings

Well I really have had some great days lately. Therefore I haven't spent a whole lot of my good time at home. So far this last week I went to Julie's and ate chili, watched her Michigan team kick butt, and had a sleep over. Oh, and we watched a bunch of Heroes episodes. Then I did get to go do my hike to Sedona, on 09/09/09. Talk about weird....My friend Alison and I started out trying to get breakfast at Startbucks. The one by her house didn't have bagels. So we went to the one on 99th ave. Then we ordered and the tab rang up as $9.99. I swear that happened. Then The thermometer across the street read 99 degrees as we were pulling up. When we arrived in Sedona the temp was 81(9). When we left it was 63(9). Very very cool. Our hike was fabulous. I know I was given the power that day to not feel sick even one itsy bitsy amount. The only reason we had to turn around that day was because the black sky and sheets of rain with thunder made me think.....FLASH FLOOD.....Hello . It's Arizona. Dang. We did get to meet a neat dog that loved letting me throw his stick; endlessly. Even into the pool. (that really was an accident). I got to take great pictures, and we even got to use my leatherman to cut up an apple we picked off the tree. I got a bite of nice Arizona dirt on my bite. That crunch wasn't supposed to be there. We got home after a fabulous lunch at Blue Moon Cafe, and getting to meet one of the cutest 6yr olds, Jaiya Wells. He gave us each a gift of his name written on a napkin. I'll keep it forever. I came in the house to a pretty purple box of Fairytale brownies from Sabra and Lou. They are so so good. Then....I got to read one of my bestest letters yet from Courtney Ruhter. She wrote me a letter on her school letterhead. A great get well letter with perfect 3rd grade handwriting. I LOVED it.

Cea and I finished season 2 of Dexter. I can't even believe Sargent Dokes died. Dang it all. But Dexter is fine and all happy endings till season 3 next week. Who has Showtime so we can record season 4?????????

Jake and Madi are doing well in school. YES

Randy gets to go to solar energy school next week. YES

And we were blessed with a fantastic new dishwasher. It looks beautiful. But mostly it works, and I'll have very clean dishes in the flu season. I know I will never be able to say thank you enough to everyone that has helped my family and I. I appreciate more than any of you know, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

I know Gods keeping me around here for a long time and you guys are doing a great job of helping make that possible.

Bald is beautiful... Yup, it is

Yesterday I had 2 funny bald incidents...1. At Walmart where the guy in the wheelchair came up behind and said excuse me Sir...Didn't he see my pretty toenails?? 2. At Madi's rained out ball practice some dude yelled, dont get your hair wet! I didn't even know who the heck he was. Funny Funny... I liked that one. Oh yeah. 3. The old lady at Walgreens that really needed to use Secret. Loved my bald head and kept wanting to hug me. I just hugged her back and thanked her. I think it made her day. Making homeade peach-raspberry jam today. Yummy. Yesterday I got to spend the day with my grandma. We made German potato salad. It used to be very yummy before chemo makes everything taste like metal. She promises a batch at the end of December when hopefully everything is back to normal...Yeah right!

Couldn't be said more perfectly

This was on my calender yesterday. All right I found it yest cuz I didn't switch in time; but the Universe is saying something I needed to remember. Gonna take a hike on the 10th.in Sedona. My gift to myself after round 2. Alison promised its a good one. Cant wait Nice and easy and pretty and creek. Cant wait to eat my sandwich by the creek. YEAH

Come on Dec 16th

I truly think the only reason for my 14 day rest cycle is so that somehow in a my chemo fog, I forget how crappy I felt after days 1,2 and 8, and then return my ass back to that clinic on Eugie. Good thing I keep my chemo buddies around. Just wanna tell my family thanks so much for dealing with me while I exist these tough days after chemo. All I do is pray for tomorrow, cuz I know that 1. It's one day closer to December 16th, the last date for chemo, and 2. I always know that tomorrow is one more day I get to keep being a mom. Bonus...Getting to get up to date on Dexter. Very fun.

Doing my community service

Well so far today has been one of those days. I so wanna keep those spirits up sky high. But not even 24 hrs after chemo, I already have thrush. That lovely furry mouth crap...AGAIN. That's OK though. My friend Julie has me down on a countdown, that shows 109 days till all is said and done...Then the bucket list commences. I've been thinkin...something positive out of all this chemo crud. Every time I go to the bathroom, I'm eliminating chemo waste. So why not think about how many sewer rats I am preventing from getting this fallopian cancer . Here's to hoping I get to stay safe; as the mouse did against the lion in Aesop's fable. They should be eternally grateful! Well here's to a better ending to round 2 of chemo.

I love all the love and support I have been receiving from everyone. I've never received cookies from home. I like that doorbell ring much more so than the IV junk that's coming out. Thanks to the Bierworth family, I will be eating some cookies today :)

Chemo Round 2: Score: Peg 2 Cancer 0

Having good days with the family, planting, playing. Good news- no bad hair days! Who knew I had such a perfect head:) Oh...and I don't have to shave my legs...for those special occasions.
Working on my "Bucket List"...
1. see sunrise on the Atlantic- check
2. see my family restored- check
3. CIGNA hospice team and honorary member reunion- check
4. Free Starbuck ice cream and M&M's on the internet- check
41/2- Go for a 5 mile bike ride- September
5. see sun rise on Atlantic and set on the Pacific in same day- January 2010
6. go to New York City
7. see Wicked
8. Hike Machu Picchu - Peru
9. RAGBRAI- Bike ride across Iowa, eat pie:)
10. hike and take pictures at Havasupai...finally
11. oh yea...go back to work!
Gonna be busy...

Chewy and I are no longer split-aparts

So Sat was the day that I finally came to the conclusion I really didn't enjoy drinking my hair in my coffee, nor did I really appreciate the abused barbie doll head I was seeing in the mirror. So we took the clippers in the back yard after a few tears, and shaved away. I did get a really cool looking Mohawk for a bit. That was kinda cool. It truly did help with the scalp pain too. I never realized how much hair insulates your head. Dang my head gets cold easily.

I think we have a black cloud that is taking it's sweet time dissipating over 5015 W Windrose. Randy was getting out of his truck Thursday at work, and ended bizarrely enough, with an avulsion fracture of his rt foot. Too too weird, I say. He has a walking cast on and he says that's helping the pain. thankfully he is able to still work. Whatever few hrs he's been getting.

I had pretty good energy this weekend (before neupogen started kicking butt... I appreciate it boosting my white count, but certainly not the pain associated with it while trying to do it's thing) I planted some flowers, and put a little hibiscus in my pond area. It looks cute. Even went swimming for a bit to try and even out the shininess on my roundlittle head.

Tuesday I get to go to work and have lunch with my work pals and Dr Patel. Might even get to bean him with some stray kiss wrappers or peanuts. That's my job on Tuesdays. Coco puffs are fun to throw too.

So yeah, Chewy and I are not gonna give people a run for their money anymore, as far a figuring who is who. But is only temporary. Once the new doo comes in, we'll be good. Who knows...Maybe the chemo will mess with me and then Elmo and I will be split aparts... Maybe even Gilligan :)

Me and the Scarecrow are related

Glad to see that my CT scan yesterday wasn't brain mets, and DOES show I have a brain. No air Julie! No idea why my head was going to explode off my shoulders. Just able to catch my labs early doing a freakazoid dance. So went to the dr today and fixing my wacked out potassium and white count. Come on WBC's....Schools started. I need all I can to fight these bugs that come home with my kids.
Feeling really good today. Gonna go do another Dexter marathon at my friend Cea's house.
Jake and Madi really love school so far. They even have a class together. How cute.
Just want to say thanks to everyone for all your love and support.

Defying Gravity

Yummmy, eating again. Poached eggs on toast. My friend Lou came over last night and did Reiki. I think it may have helped me feel better. No pain pills since her visit, and fever came down. I think this is going to be my best friend. Today is the day... my Taxol is supposed to start kicking butt. So far so good. Madi and Jake are all registered at Deer Valley, and everyone there was so fabulous and generous. Other than my "split apart" dog Chewy losing blond hairs that looks curiously like mine all over the couch- all is well! Livingstrong, Peg

Feeling Good!

Geez, Rain and thunderstorms ...Nice I even ate 2 whole poached eggs and a piece if toast. they're gonna have to start rolling me outta the house. Ate a nice dinner delivered by Girl Scouts last nite. Perfect. Thanks guys. Gonna take Madi to fr...eshman orientation, and get Jake registered. Busy day. Feeling good still. I'm taking advantage of every moment.

VA Beach was better than Chemo, and we got better tans!

Today is "day 8", 3rd treatment- finishing round 1 of chemo. Yahooo! Hanging here with my "very old friend" Julie O. Tried to tell the chemo nurse I was done with Taxol...so had her going for a minute...but she gave it to me anyway. Lost 15 lbs in last week and thrush was my close friend for a few days...gotta love fuzzy spit:( Got new meds today so hoping for a better weekend! Planning on attending our first "CIGNA Hospice reunion" on Saturday. It was hard to come here today knowing what I was in store for...but gonna beat this thing so I do what I do best...SHOW UP to PLAY!

My friend Julie got this email from LIVESTRONG today about this guy who went to the Dr and came out with a cancer diagnosis...his comment, and mine is "That's not what I ordered. Can I send it back?" Believe me...I'm sending it back!

Livingstrong,

Peg

Monday's Blues

Well today I can say I may be back on my way to a teensy bit normalish. I ate a little more and drank a little more too. Think I was even awake a little more today too. Now I know, Dr Volk was way laughing inside when I asked if I could still play sports while on chemo. I had no idea a MACK truck was going to come barreling thru every square centimeter of my body; put it in reverse, then do it again a few more times....just cuz.

Blah Days kinda suck...So I'm finding out

First just wanna say thanks to Randy for being there for me. Kids too. Love you guys. Now go clean your rooms :) Just kidding.
I really great yesterday till it came time to go to bed, and the decadron was doing it;s thing and not letting me sleep well. So out to the living room to watch whatever happened to be on the dang TV.
Today is definetly a blah day. Only a little nausea, but really tired. Not quite sure I'm liking this tired crap. Now I know why Doc said no work. Whah Whah. I'll get over it.
Kinda sad that I had to tell a softball team no ball till Feb. That bites. Oh well, pleanty of time for softball when I'm all healed. RIGHT?

Surviving wonderfully after day 1

Soooo..Yest was the first day of IV Taxol. The only side effect I had was falling asleep in the premeds; which I thought was just a typical Peg move. All I could think was what the heck am I falling asleep so dang early in the day already. And dang if Cea didnt notice. Turns out the culprit was the Benedryl. I fought it off very well though not knowing it was drug induced; and had a great time visiting.

Got to make the nurses all come running at once when I dropped(on accident I promise) the bell indicating I was having an anphalactic reaction to the Taxol. They did good. I think I would have survived if it was a real ring! Might I add, these nurses are very wonderful. Very caring and attentive.

The afternoon was spent fixing my once purple hair; that had turned to the color of a campfire ash. Kinda yucky. So Brianna and Cea fixed me up. I now am up for look alike for Annie Lennox. Everyone says I look a lot younger too. Dang, there goes my senior discount at Tacobell!!

Today and next Wed are intraperitoneal Cisplatin days. Cruddy days so they say. But like Julie says, this is what we need to get right to the source of the rotton junk trying to take over my belly. COME ON CISPLATIN. Here's to hoping all the new and fabulous and outragously priced premeds do their tricks.

Love you all. Thanks for the pizza last night Gonzalez family. It was great!

First Day to Kick butt

Yesterday's escapade of the rockin mom's purple hair with liberty spikes was a blast. will try and get a pic up. Must say I truly impressed Jake. I dont think he ever thought I was even remotely capable of such a feat. My thought on that is, he must not know me quite well enough yet. :)
So, I'm headin on in for day 1 of chemo. 3-4 hrs of mundane TV and nothingness. Sounds so BLAHHH. Taking my friend and movie. No clue what to expect, except maybe a new bedsore that just healed from hospital crap. Cant say lying around is truly one of more favorite things to do. Here's to hoping Cea wont have to hold any barf buckets!!
Thanks so much for everyone's fabulous support.

So thanks to everyone that helped make my poker tourney such a huge success. I had such a great time too. I loved getting to see everyone there. Unbelievable.!!!! A even huger thank you to Patti my sister for her hard work and sacrifices to make this all possible. My cornhole partner Tom and I kicked butt. We almost won the Cardinals tickets. I'm thinkin we need to hit the road, and win some major tourneys wherever you go to do that.
Chemo starts next week on the 5th, 6th, and 12th. rest 2 weeks, then start again. This goes for 6 courses, and we see that I am kicking butt, and go from there. She said for sure I'm going to lose my hair. So my friend Tracy is going to cut it for me next Tues.
We get to go camping with the Shirks this weekend. I can't wait

New Tacobell ports have arrived

So I got my new tacobell sauce innies today. Even came home today. Dr Gladding is the best dr around and the sweetest. She took good care of me. My bestest friend Cea woke at 4:30am to get me there, and stay bored with weird TV. Lucky for her, no heavin on my part today!! Yeah.
Recovering nicely eating the Shirks homemade beef stroganoff...Yum Yum.

Chemo crud

Well I met with Dr Gladding today, and found out that I can still play softball too.
The surgery to get the ports for chemo will be on THurs am at Estrella hospital. I get to stay overnight. THAT'S IT. No more than that. Seems pretty cut and dry for these insertions. I love Dr Gladding. She is the best.
Next week I have an appointment with the oncology nurse. She will get me set up for a routine.
Thanks again from me to you. Everyone has been so special to me and my family. I love you all
Pegs

Dr. Volk saw me Friday and gave some very, very promising news. The chemo I will receive should kick butt nicely. Said I, if anybody, should have a fantastic outlook. I called Sandy Gladding the best surgeon I know. She will be seeing me at 11am tomorrow to arrange surgery to put in the ports for chemo. One in my chest for chemo and one in my abdomen for what they call intraperitoneal chemotherapy. We will kick this thing's butt from all angles!!

Welcome to my website.  Thanks for taking the time to follow along with me! 

Please take a look to the right for information on the upcoming Poker Party!

Also, along the right column, you'll find info on who to call when you feel moved to bring over a casserole or coffee cake, and a bit on how this whole thing started.